“TODAY I HAVE BECOME YOUR DADDY.”
PSALMS 2:7
In this new translation of the Christian bible, the reader will receive so little as to be assured that I have given nothing. That is to say that the word is pristine; it is uncontaminated, even by consideration.
The interventions of translators, publishers, commentators, as well as the wavering and inexact comprehension of readers, all conspire toward a general distortion and disreputation of that God which is said to have spoken. That I may interfere as little as possible, I have rendered this project in the absence of cleverness, imagination, personality, scrupulousness, intelligibility, or meaningful purpose. My single contribution is to have changed a word from a pre-existing version of the Christian bible, so to constitute a version that is new; and, therefore, as yet unexamined. This is a bible into which almost no human energy is invested, and by which no abuse is committed; it is the First Holy Translation.
It is unfortunate for us that the earth is already saturated in the word (our macerated continents coming apart in its hands), and that the word has so become the backdrop against which our distinctly unholy activities splatter their red, red blood. This First Holy Translation, by its redundancy inside of a crowded field in which a kicking horse is very much dead, and by its frivolousness among doomsayers, invites no readership and incites no action, thereby promising the maintenance of its virtue.
Below, you may preview the First Holy Translation Gospels, and elsewhere on this site you may download the full book. But, further to this editor’s note, I recollect that novel contrivance of John the Elder in Revelation 22:18-19, in which he pledges a curse upon so-and-so if they such-and-such. My caution is not so heavy as that, accustomed to my human voice as I am, but I wish to reiterate that the First Holy Translation is easily dirtied on an eyeball. It is better preserved than enjoyed. And my idea, like the book itself, is not especially built for scrutiny.
